Being broke at Christmas sucks...........

I am so frustrated.... I was all prepared to take the kids to Wal-Mart to get a small artifical tree so they would at least have something. But I stopped the car in my driveway to call my ATM card to make sure that I had enough money. That was when I discovered that my phone had been shut off.... I forgot to pay my bill. It literally came down my phone or a Christmas tree. I hated to do it, but we don't have a home phone.... if I didn't turn my phone on we would have no way for Joe to get ahold of us and no way to dial out if we had an emergency or something. Eleven months out of the year I can scrape by and handle being broke.... but why right near Christmas? And Joe's paycheck on the 15th was suppose to be a lot bigger because his combat pay was suppose to kick in. Well, I checked the status of his upcoming check, and not only is he NOT getting his combat pay yet, but his check is going to be even LESS than it has been for the past several months.... as in about $300 less. I am so frustrated. And most of all, I just feel like a horribly inadequate mother for not even being able to get a Christmas tree for my children.