JOE'S COMING HOME EARLY!!!!!

I am SOOOOO excited!!! Joe was due to fly in tomorrow morning at 10 AM but we found out last night that they were going to be released today at noon... which only left me frustrated that his flight was leaving SOOOO much later than they were being released. But I prayed and told God that I was still going to be thankful. So I prayed until I fell asleep just telling God that I am thankful for all he has provided us and that I was thankful that I would at least get to see him on Tuesday. Then I got a call from Joe today at about 9:00 AM saying that his brother is going to front him the money so that he can change his plane ticket and fly in TONIGHT!!! AMEN!!! God is SOOOO good!! I will get about 12 more hours with him now!! So instead of having just a half day with him on Tuesday, I get the WHOLE DAY!!!!!!!!! I have been pretty much on cloud 9 all day and doing everything I possibly can to try to waste time until I can leave at 9:00 to go get him. :) I tell you what though... it's going to be weird sharing the bed again - lol. But DEFINATELY a good kind of weird. :)

My prayer for our soldiers...

As the first of December gets closer I find myself becoming more and more worried with each passing day. I will admit that the "what if" of losing Joe has definately crossed my mind a few times. The Illinois National Guard alone has already lost 3 soldiers in the last 6 months... that's not a number that I'm very happy with. I've definately cried myself to sleep a few times over this, but I try to remind myself that worrying won't do Joe or I any good. So every day I say a prayer for our soldiers.....

Lord, give them the strength to do what needs to be done. Give them the wisdom to know what to do in tough situations. Give them the energy & mental awareness that they need even though they've been going for three days straight. Grant them peace even though they are half a world away from all their loved ones. Help keep their minds clear so that they can get the job done and come home safely. And most of all, let them know how much we love them and can't wait for fall 2009 when we can welcome them ALL home. **Amen**

14 months

It's amazing how little insignificant milestones suddenly become an occasion for tears. Today is 14 months for Joe and I.... nothing major... not even a year and a half, but it just made me realize that he's not even here. We wouldn't even do anything special if he were here, but I would at least get a kiss. I miss his kisses. :'( It's really funny how you even start to miss the things that you hated. I would do anything to have him home. I'm so worried about him going over to Afghanistan. They have already lost 3 Illinois National Guard soldiers over there. Tyler and I pray for him every single night but I can't help but worry.

And THEN there's the issue of keeping on top of my house! UG!! I'm sorry, but I work basically 6:30-4:30 Monday through Friday and when I get home, the VERY last thing I want to do is clean! In my mind, there is one of two options... clean, or spend time with my kids. And I've tried so hard to motivate myself to get stuff done on the weekends, but then I feel that the weekends are my time to be lazy. I mean, I feel like I moved a mountain if I am able to do my dishes 2-3 times a week!! Let alone keep the ENTIRE house picked up and orderly! What do I want for Christmas? A maid... for FREE!!!!! But I don't even know if I could get a maid... she'd walk in the door, look around, and say, "I QUIT!!!" I just wish my mom lived closer, she would be over in 10 minutes to help. I guess I just hate not having friends or family here.

But anyway.... I'm done complaining. I guess I better get off of here and maybe try to make a trail through the jungle I call my bedroom.

camera & FRG meeting

Good news! Joe's sister found my camera!! I was SOOO relieved!! With Joe coming home for a visit the end of the month, I did NOT want to be without a camera! Especially since we'll be doing a shortened version of all birthdays and Christmas while he's home.

And I went to a FRG (family readiness group) meeting today and that went really well. We helped stuff stockings with goodies to send over to the soldiers for Christmas and then we also got to watch a DVD that they put together for the Soldiers and it has some pics of the families and the troops, and at the end, they had the music video to 3 Doors Down "Citizen Soldiers". I added the song to my blog page, but I HIGHLY recommend going on YouTube to see the actual video! I BAWLED my eyes out when we watched it. 3 Doors Down actually made the song SPECIFICALLY for the National Guard... which is really interesting. It's probably one of my favorite songs now. That and "Come Home Soon" by SheDaisy... which is also one of the songs in that MP3 player thingie. It will give you something to do for a little bit anyway. ;)

I think that's about it for today. Take care!

Updates

Well, I went to the Halloween party this past weekend and had a BLAST!!! The girl I thought I would be borrowing my costume from decided not to answer my calls, so I ended up with no costume 24 hours before the party! But Joe's sisters took care of me. ;) They dressed me up as an 80s girl. They said I looked like the girl from Flash Dance if that means anything to you. I have NEVER seen my hair that big!! They put my hair in hot rollers, put a TON of hairspray in it and teased it until it was HUGE! Then my outfit was a pair of shiny purple pointy toe high heels, purple tights, black leg warmers, a jean mini-skirt, a purple tank top, a sweat shirt with the collar cut out so that it hung off my shoulder, and then a TON of jelly bracelets!! I looked like I stepped right out of an 80s movie! Unfortunately, I can't find my camera at the moment so I will post more pics when I can. Until then, here's a pic that one of the girls at the party took of all the girls... it will give you a general idea of my outfit. ;) Joe's sister, Jolena, is the one in the blue, and his sister Sarah is the one in green. So in the mean time... pray that Joe's sister finds my camera!

Photo Tag

So Lee did this first, and I'm still trying to figure out the ins and outs of this, so I guess you're suppose to open the 6th folder in your pics and upload the 6th picture in that folder and then tag 6 people. I only have 2 people on here and Lee already tagged me, so I guess Shannon's it!! :)

I just think it's funny that my 6th picture in the 6th album happened to be a picture of the 3 of us. :)

Election Day

Well, I have been ordered (by Joe) to check on CNN.com every 20 minutes or so to check the election updates. I voted on the 29th to avoid Election Day mayhem and Joe sent in his absentee ballot a week ago. We both voted for McCain but I'm certain that Obama will win. No matter how much us Republicans want McCain in office, he won't get it. I've been predicting Obama even before he won the nomination over Hillary. So like it or not, I'll keep watching the polls. Plus Joe keeps text messaging me every half hour or so to find out what the latest results are.

But anyway... I start on the bus with the kids tomorrow! I will start out as an attendant and then while I'm doing that in the morning and afternoon, I'll train for a bus driver from 9-12. So my days are going to be CRAZY for awhile. I feel kinda bad for the kids because they'll be at the babysitter from like 6-12 and then from like 2:30-5:00 every single day (except weekends) until I'm ready to start full time as a driver. But it will be worth it. Plus they're hoping that it will only take 2-3 weeks to get me on as a driver. So please pray for my sanity in the mean time!! I am just worried sick about getting my CDL. I need to get my CDL permit first, and to be honest.... I haven't even begun to study for it. I'm so nervous! I haven't had to take a driving test in 8 years!!!

And Joe comes home for his visit soon!! I can't reveal exactly when, but it's less than a month away now... I'm SOOO excited!!! He will only get 3 days home which STINKS but at least we get that. We're going to celebrate his birthday, Tyler's birthday, Jillian's birthday, and Christmas all in one day while he's here - lol. I have a feeling that we'll end up flat BROKE once he goes back. But Tyler is just happy that he'll get to celebrate his birthday with Joe. :)

Oh! And speaking of Joe... Tyler has decided that he wants Joe to be his daddy. He had a melt down yesterday because he couldn't understand why his dad isn't around. I tried to explain that his dad is selfish and doesn't think about anyone but himself. He said, "But Joe's not selfish!!" And I told him that that's how it should be and I was sorry that his dad wasn't that way. So Tyler looked at me and said, "Can Jillie share?" I asked him what he ment and he said that he would like Jillian to share her daddy. He said, "I want a daddy who's here. I want a daddy who's not selfish." Joe about started crying when I told him. Then when I went to put Tyler to bed, he told me, "I can't wait for Joe to come home... then I'll have a daddy at MY house!" So sweet. It's funny though because Tyler is still so use to calling Joe "Joe" that he'll talk to Joe on the phone and call him Joe and then correct himself and say, "Oh wait... I can call you daddy. I forgot." I'm happy that Joe has made such a great impression on Tyler. He really needed a positive male figure in his life.

But anyway... I'm going to go now. I really should pick up my room, but House comes on in 8 minutes and that's FAR more interesting! :)

Last day at Sears!!!

Well, I have worked for Sears for a year & 8 months and today I finally quit! I am SOOO glad to be free of that place! A year and 8 months and I never got a single raise... pretty bad. Plus my supervisor is a real witch. Honest... she didn't even have to dress up for Halloween! I'm just glad to be on to bigger and better things. A bus driver might not be the "what I want to be when I grow up" type of job, but it STARTS at $9.25 and I will never work nights, weekends, or holidays! So it's basically PERFECT for people with kids! The only thing is that getting to work by 6:15 AM will take some getting used to, but it will all be worth it. :)

I am also going to Joe's sister's Halloween party this coming weekend and I am SO excited for that!! I absolutely adore Joe's family so that will be a nice distraction. Plus it's kid-free, so that will also be a nice break. Joe's sister is such a sweetheart. I told her that I didn't think I'd be able to make it due to lack of a babysitter and she took it upon herself to find a sitter to watch the kids at her house while we went to the party at her mother-in-law's just 10 minutes away. I LOVE his family!! And we're also doing a scavanger hunt which are always a TON of fun!! I haven't done a scavanger hunt since my freshman year of college!! So yeah... I'm pretty excited. :)

But anyway... I'm going to end this one for now. CSI: Miami starts in 5 minutes and I don't want to miss it. ;) Take care!

Loneliness sucks....

I've never done a blog before, so I'm kind of new at this, but here goes nothing...

Joe deployed the beginning of October and I've been having a pretty hard time coping. I knew what I was getting into when we first started dating, but NOTHING can prepare you for this. It'd be easier if I knew that he was gone for a year on a business trip. But how can you ever expect to prepare yourself for being away from the love of your life for a YEAR and not even knowing with absolute certainty if they'll come home safe? I know that he is surrounded by prayer more than I probably even know, but I can't help but worry. My secret hope is that Obama will be elected and that he'll send Joe home... he can keep everyone else over there, just send Joe home! Hey, I'm allowed to dream.

I keep being told that I should be thankful that it's "only" a year. Yes, I know that it could be an 18 month deployment and I also know that back in the day they were gone for YEARS. But how can anyone expect me to be THANKFUL for losing him for a whole year? My son will be a few months away from being SIX by the time he comes home! He won't even be here to go with me for his first day of kindergarten. **great, I'm crying now** I just don't know how people do this. I think the hardest part is that I have no friends here and I'm 3 hours from my family. I get so lonely. My kids are great, but there's only so much conversation you can get from a 2 or 4 year old. I just don't even know how to function. Most days I feel like I moved a mountain just because I was able to get dinner on the table without it being PB&J or Mac & Cheese. More often than not, I just want to crawl into bed and take a 4-6 hour nap. If I didn't have 2 kids, a dog, 2 rats, 2 turtles, my job, a house to keep on top of, and bills to pay... I would never leave my bed. I would lay there all day just praying that I would wake up a year later. But reality sucks.

So anyway... there it is. My first (horribly depressing) blog. I hope the rest of my blog posts won't be so awful. I promise I'll brag about my kids or something next time.