Christmas just wasn't Christmas......

Well, Christmas has officially come and gone this year. The sad part was that the only exciting thing about Christmas was watching it be over with. Christmas just felt like one big sham this year. I just felt like we were all gathered around opening presents just because it seemed like a good idea. It was like 50 degrees outside and nothing felt like it's suppose to. And then Joe called me on Christmas morning and I greeted him with, "Merry Christmas!" And he just said, "No, it's just Christmas." He was having a really rough day... being half a world away from all your family and friends on Christmas... there's very little else that is that depressing. I missed having him here to share all the memories with. But when it was all said and done, I was just glad that December flew by so fast.... one more month down.... 9 more to go.

2 steps forward, 6 steps back

I feel so overwhelmed right now.... but let me start from the beginning. Yesterday I was rushing around trying to get everything together so that we could go over to Joe's sister's house for Christmas with all of them. While I was trying to make my raspberry jello salad, I discovered that the hot water in the front bathroom wouldn't turn on. I thought that it was weird but paid no attention to it because the faucets everywhere else were working fine. So we went to Susanna's house and I got to talking to Joe's brother (Jay) about the faucet, and he said that it was probably frozen. He told me to go home, open up the cabinet door, and put a space heater in front of it. He said it should fix the problem. So the rest of the night I had a blast. I got to hang out with all Joe's family and really clear my head. It gave me a chance to interact with people over the age of 5. I felt like I had really overcome my Christmas blues. Then I went home, did everything Jay said, and went to bed. When I woke up this morning, I went to check that faucet, and I discovered that not only was the hot water side frozen, but so was the cold water side!! I proceeded to check all the faucets in the house only to discover that the ONLY faucet working was the cold water side in the kitchen!! I have NO hot water. Then I talked to Jay and he told me that pretty much all I can do is sit, wait, hope that it warms up enough to thaw my pipes, and also pray that they don't burst. I am about in tears. I went from being hopeful and optimistic one day to depressed and feeling completely helpless the very next day. And it's just all made worse because Joe's not here. I just feel that if Joe were here this wouldn't have happened. He would have known to leave the faucets running a little bit.... he would be here to help me deal with this. But no... I'm here all alone with no hot water. I miss Joe so bad. I have cried off and on all day. And to top it all off.... I was suppose to leave for my mom's today (because it's suppose to snow tomorrow) but unless my pipes unfreeze by this afternoon... I can't even leave yet!!! I don't know what to do. I feel completely helpless and right now... I just want to crawl in a hole and die.

Big 3 year old = big headaches

Well, Jillian turned three on Tuesday. I was really hoping that some magical transformation would happen once she reached that milestone.... it didn't. I can't figure that girl out for anything. She is defiant, bossy, destructive, down right hateful at times, and the only child I know that will whine and (literally) scream about EVERYTHING from the time she wakes up to the time she is FINALLY in bed. I have tried just talking to her, time-outs, spankings, taking her favorite toy away for a set period of time.... nothing works!! I just thank God that Tyler never gives me any problems. If they were BOTH that way, I'd commit myself! At first I just told myself that she's acting this way because Joe is gone and it's turned her world upside down. But the simple fact is.... she is old enough to know better. If she had just turned 2, I would say that she doesn't know how to express herself. But she has been acting like this for (honestly) about 5 months now. So Joe being gone can't be the cause of all this. Granted it has gotten WORSE since he's been gone, but I'm not about to just let her get away with it. She needs to understand that her behavior is unacceptable and she will receive consequences for it. And it's not just me.... even the babysitter is about to pull her hair out! I just don't know what to do.

My purse came in!!!!

About a month ago I attended an FRG (family readiness group) meeting and a lady there had a purse that had been made out of her brother's uniform... how cool!! She gave me the website where she ordered it so I went to check it out. It was only like $38 to have the purse made which is NOT bad! The best part is that it's made right from Joe's uniform so I can always feel like I'm carrying him a part of him with me. :) AND the purse wasn't suppose to be completed and shipped to me until late next week sometime and I got it in the mail TODAY!!! I about cried when I got it. :) All I had to do was put Joe's rank patch, U.S. Army patch, and the American Flag patch on it and it's good to go!!! I was so excited I had to take a picture of it to share with everyone. :) :) :)

Tyler and Jillian sang some songs at church on Sunday with the rest of the kids in their class. They were SOOO cute!! I'm only going to post the 2nd video (which is my favorite).

Making Christmas Cookies

Tyler wanted to make Christmas sugar cookies and we had a blast. Tyler was so very careful with the sprinkles but Jillian decided to POUR the sprinkles on - lol. The funny part is that when we pulled them out of the oven and started eating them, Tyler looked at me and said, "Mommy... I don't like them. I want chocolate chip ones!" What a bubba.

Our Christmas Tree

Well, I finally decided that whether we could really afford it or not, my kids needed a Christmas tree. So we went to Dollar General and got the cheapest artificial tree I have ever seen. But Tyler said that it looks beautiful, so I guess that's all that matters.