Counting Down........

Well, we're down to like 53-70 more days until Joe leaves to come home!! Granted, it's the military so they could decide to keep them a bit longer at the last second, but let's hope not! Two months.... I am SO excited! I don't care that he won't be home, home until September... as long as he's out of THERE!

I found my dress!!!

I went to David's Bridal on Friday with my mom and my aunt and grandma who were in town from Colorado. We were just going to look at picking out a color for the wedding... no plans to even try on dresses. After we had picked a color, my mom suggested that I try on a few dresses just for fun. I started looking through the dresses and the first one I saw was VERY poofy! My mom rolled her eyes and told me to go ahead and try it on... her expectations weren't very high. As soon as I walked out of the fitting room, everyone's jaws literally dropped... it was PERFECT!!! It fits me like a GLOVE! I won't have to have ANY alterations done to it at ALL! So before deciding for SURE that this was the one, we tried on a few other dresses... just to be sure. Every single dress was, "Nope... the first one was it." So after swooshing around in the dress and literally glowing, I finally decided that yes, I needed to put the deposit down on the dress. I just wasn't going to find anything that even compared to that one. AND the dress was only $449! A TON of the other ones that we were looking at were $700-$800! I couldn't believe how cheap it was for how detailed and GORGEOUS it was! And THEN I talked to Joe today and told him that I was just waiting for my tax money to come in so that I could pay the rest of it and take the dress home. Unfortunately, I wasn't 100% certain that my taxes would come in before I had to leave on Wednesday. So he gave the go-ahead to use his money to pay for the dress and put the money back as soon as my taxes came in! WOOHOO!!! So I'm going in with my mom tomorrow to try the dress on one final time and then take it home! I am SO excited! :) :) And to top it ALL off.... I put my first wedding dress on Craigs List just to see if there's any chance it would sell at all. Quite frankly, I just wanted to get rid of it... I didn't really care how much it sold for. And I got an e-mail from a lady saying that she will pay me $500 for the dress!! All I have to do is mail it to her in Texas!!! So basically.... she paid for my wedding dress! It all worked out so perfect... I couldn't even believe it. :) :)

Saying Goodbye....... again

Well, I had to take Joe to the airport today. Just thinking about it brings me to tears. He was so quiet the entire ride to the airport. I guess the reality of it all really hit him and he was really depressed. I am so worried about him. He encountered hostile fire just 2 weeks before he came home on leave and I'm so afraid that it's going to keep happening. Now that he's put a ring on my finger, I'm so worried that he'll never make it to the wedding. I know that I can't let myself think that way because it will just get me permanently depressed.... but it's still so hard. The kids took the goodbye a LOT better than I did.... I think it's because they don't understand that not only is he gone, but he's also not in a safe location. It's probably best that they don't know EVERYTHING. But since I obviously do, it just makes it so hard to let him go. When he woke up this morning and put on his uniform, I about cried right there. All I want in this life is for him to come home SAFE. Nothing else really matters at this point. So please keep him (and the kids and I too) in your prayers... we all really need it.

Enjoying my time........

Well, Joe has been home for 7 WHOLE days now. It has been wonderful. So wonderful that it feels just like it used to be.... it almost makes my mind think that he's home for good. I was so worried that he'd come home a different person, but not really. He's never really been the romantic/affectionate type, but he seems to be a little bit more that way.... and I stress "little". ;) I'm just so thankful that God has blessed me with such an amazing man. :)

I am SO frustrated!!!

I was at a meeting at work today when I got a call from Joe. So I slipped out of the meeting to take his call. I was talking to him when my boss came in and said, "Hey! I need to talk to him!" So I left the restroom so that she could talk to him about dates, etc. without me overhearing. Then she came out and handed the phone to me and Joe said, "That is CRAP!!!" Joe called my boss back in like February to ask off of work for me and I guess they have only okayed me to have ONE day off of work!!!! ONE day!!! Tell me, how much good does that do me?! I can understand that they might not be able to give me the full 15 days off, but I was expecting at LEAST half of it!!!! So I went and talked to Donna (my immediate boss who is ALSO a former military wife). She said that she understands how important it is and that she's doing all she can to get me more days. But it just kills me that they will okay people to take a week or so off of work for a CRUISE but when my boyfriend comes home from Afghanistan, they only want to give me a DAY! Joe said that he's going to call and talk to the head boss and speak his mind. What frustrates me is that if Joe and I were MARRIED, they would be required by LAW to give me that time off!! So I think Joe is finally realizing that I was right in saying that being married while he's deployed would DEFINATELY have its benefits. So yes.... I am just extremely frustrated right now. Please keep this situation in your prayers..... that's about all that's going to work at this point.

Counting Down.....

Well, Joe should be home sometime in the next 10-14 days! He still won't tell me exactly, and even so, if he were to get held over in Kuwait for a day or two, that would delay his return date. But I am SO excited!!! Ten to fourteen DAYS is a number that I can deal with! His fifteen days at home will definately fly by way too fast, but it will be SO good to have him home! At least my gutters will finally get cleaned out and the garage door will get fixed. ;)

Nevermind....

Well, pretty much ignore the last post. I received a VERY harsh e-mail from Joe (although 100% honest) basically stating that he doesn't want to even consider marriage. He also said that he's afraid of us splitting up, but only because Jillian is attached to me. I refuse to stay in a relationship that's only being maintained because we have a house together and because our kids are attached. I deserve better than that. So I don't know. I sent him an e-mail pretty much laying the facts out and letting him know that if he's only in this for the kids, then I will start paperwork to split up the house tomorrow. I can't take this right now. I've cried for about 2 hours already. Hopefully he didn't mean it how it came out, but I don't know how it could be taken any other way. I want someone to love me for ME... not just for my child rearing abilities.